In short: settling into nursery happens gradually, in short steps — from an hour with a parent present to a full day. The early-education methodology provides that a child may have an adjustment programme of up to 10 working days, during which a parent can accompany them. Crying at goodbye in the first days is normal; what matters is how your child settles after you leave, not how loudly they cry as you go.
This guide covers exactly the stretch nobody warns you about: the first ten days.
What the methodology says about settling in
The methodology annexed to Government Decision 566/2022 provides, in article 17, an adjustment programme of up to 10 working days for a newly enrolled child, during which a parent or legal representative may accompany them.
Two important nuances, because the text is often quoted loosely:
- it is worded as “may benefit from”, not as an automatic right — the practical arrangement is up to the institution;
- up to 10 days is a ceiling, not a required duration. Many nurseries do it in 5–7 days.
Ask on day one what their settling-in programme looks like, and get it in writing if it affects when you go back to work.
What settling in looks like, day by day
The model below is what most nurseries use. The exact pace varies — confirm it with your child’s key worker.
| Day | How long the child stays | With a parent? |
|---|---|---|
| 1–2 | 1–2 hours, during free play | yes, in the room |
| 3–4 | 2–3 hours | parent withdraws gradually |
| 5–6 | until after the snack | no |
| 7–8 | including lunch | no |
| 9–10 | including the afternoon nap | no |
Sleep is the real threshold. Many families think settling in is over once their child stays for lunch. In fact the first nap at nursery is the hardest step, and the one that most often stretches the adjustment period.
What’s normal in week one
- Crying at drop-off. Very common, even in children who seem relaxed at home.
- Regression in sleep or potty training. Temporary, almost always.
- Eating less at nursery than at home in the first days.
- Afternoon tiredness and irritability. Group life takes an enormous amount out of a 1–3-year-old.
- Your child is “perfect” at nursery and difficult at home. A sign they hold it together all day and let go safely with you.
- Illness. The first months in a group come with frequent colds — we wrote separately about the child who’s always ill.
What actually helps
- A short goodbye ritual, identical every day. Same words, same hug, then you go. Drawing it out makes it harder.
- Don’t slip away unnoticed. Short term it avoids the crying; long term it creates anxiety, because your child no longer knows when you’ll vanish.
- Something from home — a small toy, a piece of fabric — if the institution allows it.
- Call after 20 minutes. Staff can tell you whether they’ve settled. Usually they have, far sooner than you’d expect.
- Keep home nap times close to the nursery’s, starting the week before.
- Be on time at pick-up in the first days. Punctuality builds predictability.
When to ask for help
Talk to the key worker or coordinator if, after 3–4 weeks, you consistently see:
- crying that doesn’t stop within 20–30 minutes of the goodbye, day after day;
- total refusal of food or fluids across the whole session;
- sleep still impossible at nursery after two weeks of trying;
- marked regression at home that deepens rather than eases;
- a visible change in behaviour outside nursery hours.
None of this means you chose wrongly. Sometimes it means the pace needs slowing, or the group isn’t right for your child’s age. If you need specialist support, CJRAE Cluj provides free counselling.
What to ask before day one
- How long is your settling-in programme, and how is it structured?
- Can I stay in the room in the first days? Until when?
- Who is my child’s key worker?
- How will you let me know if they cry for more than 30 minutes?
- What should I bring: spare clothes, comfort object, nappies?
- What does the daily routine look like — meals, nap, activities?
If you’re still choosing, use the full visit checklist.
Frequently asked questions
How long does settling into nursery take? The methodology annexed to Government Decision 566/2022 provides an adjustment programme of up to 10 working days. In practice many nurseries do it in 5–7 days, and full adjustment can take several weeks.
Is it normal for my child to cry every morning? In the first days, yes. What matters is whether they settle shortly after you leave. If crying continues daily beyond 3–4 weeks, talk to staff.
Can I stay in the room during settling in? The methodology provides that a parent may accompany the child during the adjustment period. How that works in practice is set by the institution — ask on day one.
Why is sleep the hardest stage? Because it asks your child to relax completely in a new place, without you. That’s why it’s introduced last, once meals are going well.
Sources
- Early education methodology (Government Decision 566/2022) — art. 17, adjustment programme of up to 10 working days
- Cluj-Napoca nurseries — municipal nurseries
- CJRAE Cluj — free psycho-educational counselling
- The piticluj.ro directory — all 339 listed nurseries and kindergartens
- Our data sources — the full list
Conclusion
The first two weeks are hard on everyone, parents included. Get the settling-in programme in writing, keep the goodbye ritual short, don’t slip away unnoticed, and remember that sleep is the last step, not the first. If you’re still choosing, every nursery in Cluj is on the piticluj.ro interactive map, with a filter for minimum age accepted.